Be a father
Several years ago I heard a sermon of Derek Prince, where he was saying that one of the biggest problems of today’s society is a lack of fathers. The more I think of this, the more I see how true this is. Everything starts with family, the way you were raised and the way you raise your own children. Even ministry starts with your own family, because that is the first and most important ministry that God gave you. What happens in your family, meaning the way you deal with your family, is an image of what happens or will happen in your ministry/Church. If you can’t deal with the problems in your own family, you surely can’t deal with the problems in your ministry/Church. I’m not talking about what others in your family are doing, I’m talking about your attitude and your way of acting with the situations that happen in your family. You can’t control what others are doing, and please don’t try to do that, but you can decide what your attitude will be in these situations. I understand that it can be very difficult to act the right way, when you never had an example of how to do that.
What this world needs are people who are willing to be a father. What the Church needs are leaders who are willing to be a father in the first place. What your family needs is a man who is willing to be a father. You have no idea how many problems in live can be avoided when this will become reality. The most important thing that everyone needs is love. The second thing that everyone needs is acceptation/acknowledgment, that comes out of that love. The third thing we all need is safety/security, that also comes out of that love. God created man and woman with different responsibilities. The man is responsible to accept and acknowledge his child. Not just by thinking it, but by saying it and showing it to the child. The woman is responsible to make her child feel safe and secure. Not just by thinking it, but by saying it and showing it to the child. The man will never be able to give his child the sort of safety and security that a woman can give. The woman will never be able to give her child that sort of acceptation and acknowledgement that a man can give. It’s a spiritual principle. These are the emotional needs we have, that are the foundation of our emotional life. We need to understand that this is both, a spiritual need and an emotional need.
When we look at the world of today, I have to say that I only see a few mothers neglecting their tasks as a mother. To most of the mothers, their children are everything. They are willing to do everything that’s necessary to give them what they need. But the biggest problem is the fact that in a lot of families there is a lack of a father. Yes I’m talking about the many broken families, about the divorces, about children that are being raised by a single mom because daddy refused to take his responsibilities and left. But I’m also talking about fathers who did not left their family, but who are emotional absent. About fathers who never tell their children that they are proud of them, who never tell their children that they love them, who never will encourage their children etc. How many men are just like that? They can be good and hard working people, providing for their family in a natural way, which is also very needed and a good thing to do. But just bringing food to the table isn’t enough. Many men don’t realize this.
The results of a society with a lack of fathers
Acceptation and acknowledgement will determine your identity, who you are. The lack of acceptation and acknowledgement will create an identity problem. The problem with a lack of identity is that those people are going to search for other sources that can provide them their identity. Most of the time that source is not God. The enemy knows this very well and will offer those people all sorts of sources. The lack of acceptation and acknowledgment, caused by the lack of a father, will make that children will feel their selves rejected, which creates an open door for the spirit of rejection to enter. This spirit of rejection has only one aim: your destruction. People who feel rejected are going to search for things that can make that feeling of rejection go away. A lot of people are not even aware that they’re doing this. Our enemy know very well how to offer you his lies, so you can feel accepted. Rejection is one of the most devastating things that we can have in our lives. At one point or another, it will start to take over your feelings and your decisions, simply because acceptation is a basic need in our life.
Most of the people don’t realize why they feel so empty and unwanted. So they start to do all sorts of things in order to become someone. They will try to become someone based upon what they do, not based upon who they are. Some will flee in study, others in work, others in sports and others in hobbies. But there are also people who will flee in tobacco, alcohol, drugs and other devastating things. Regardless of what they try, that cry for acceptance and acknowledgment can not be silenced, which will only make them feel worse. Some will even go further and try more extreme things as before, to be someone. The big secret here is that whatever they try, it will never be enough. When you start to recognize this, you’ll see it everywhere around you. I have to add to this that our God is more then able to restore these people and to give them the acceptance and acknowledgment they need after all. There is no problem that God can’t solve, but a lot of problems can be avoided when we start to live in our identity, the identity God gave us.
God is searching for fathers. He is searching for people who are willing to be a father, a daddy, to their own children, but also a father figure to those who are in need. We can all agree that we have to become like Jesus. He gave the perfect example of what the Christian life should be. But most of us do not realize that Jesus did the will of the Father, to become like the Father. Remember, every father used to be a son first. Our heavenly Father never was a son, He always was and always will be the perfect and best example of what a Father should be. He is God, but He is a Father in the first place. Besides our heavenly Father, all fathers used to be sons before they became a father their selves. God created men to become fathers after His Own heart. The enemy is always fighting most against God’s highest priorities for us. The areas where God wants to bless us the most, is where the enemy will try to destroy as much as he can. That’s why the lack of fathers is such a problem today. God want you to become a father. A father to your own children in the first place, your first and most important ministry. And a father figure to the fatherless, to show them Who our heavenly Father is by your deeds, not just by words. Do you remember Who the Holy Spirit is representing on earth? Indeed, Jesus Christ. Do you remember Who Jesus is representing? It is the Father. So when we look at the fruit of the Spirit, we see the example of a father.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
Galatians 5:22-26
This should be our attitude against our children. This should be our attitude to your Church members. This should be your attitude in your ministry. This should be your attitude to all the people. The more we become like this, the more we’re showing Who our Father is, the source of our identity.
Your life can make a difference in the lives of many. Maybe you’re not a leader of Church or ministry. Maybe you’re an average to the world, having a family and a career. Your life can make such a big difference to others. Never allow thoughts to enter your mind that you can’t make any difference because you’re “nobody in the Church”. Every person is loved by the Father with the exact same love as everyone else. God doesn’t love your pastor more because he is a pastor. He doesn’t love a minister more because he is a minister. He doesn’t love people based upon what they do, He loves us based upon who we are: a child of the Father. That is the big difference. When your pastor just lives his life as a child of the Father, you will see the fruit of the Spirit in his life and it will affect the Church. In the same way, when you start to live your life as a child of the Father, it will affect your family and the people around you. Your life can make the difference. Your life will be the difference when you live it as a child of your heavenly Father. When Jesus lived His life as a son of His Father, it started to affect people. People got saved, healed and delivered. Because of that, they saw that the Father was with Him. When you start to live your life as a son of the Father, it will affect your wife and children. Not by what you say, but by who you are. Who you are determines what you do. Because of that your wife and children will see your heavenly Father through your life. The people around you, your family, friends and colleagues will see the Father through your life. The fruit will be that people will receive salvation, healing and deliverance. We were all called to do the works of Jesus, Who did exactly that. Remember, He lived His life based upon Who He was, not upon what He did. He never tried to prove Himself, He just was and is the Son of God.
What about you? Are you willing to be or become a father? A father to your family? A father to the fatherless? A father figure to your colleagues and friends? Do you allow God to change your life? Do you allow the Father to teach you how to become a father like He is? If so, He will help you in every single way. Sure you will make mistakes, but a son of the Father is man enough to admit his mistakes and to ask for forgiveness and to be humble. Don’t try to accomplish this with your own strength, that will never work. This is something that only can be done when you and God are working together, in a personal and intimate relationship. Don’t be discouraged when you can’t succeed right away. Just spent time in the presence of God and learn how to hear and understand His voice (read the study: “The secret place”) and He will do it in you. Ask for His heart for your family, friends, colleagues etc. When He gives you His heart, you will be able to love all people the way God loves them. You can be a father, even if nobody taught you how to be one. I believe in you and I believe you can and will succeed. Why? Because I know my heavenly Father and I know that He will show you the example of how to be a dad. He will never give up on you. Wherever you go, He is always one step away, with open arms. He loves you with an everlasting love. He will give you all the love a dad needs, so you can share His love with the ones He trusted you with.
Prayer
“Heavenly Father, I want to be a father to my family. I want to be a father to the people around me. I want to be a father like You are. I want to love unconditionally. I ask You to give me Your heart for my family and the people around me. Please take away my heart of stone and give me Your heart instead. Thank You for being faithful. Thank You for Your love. In Jesus Name. Amen.”
